moonlit

I'm moonlighting bourbon into
the dirty plastic cup i keep locked
in the closet until such time
as it is warm enough for the roof.
cold enough tonight.
it tastes of the limestone i let
it run down like the abs i will
sneak into the dust to create.

what are we being punished for?
the caress of memory blurring
the metal structure of myself
to steam. shirts with funny phrases
used to line the dresser.

what have we chosen?
the life down to the tired
wire. and now taking time off,
i see it more. they are
raiding the cemeteries.
They are strapping bombs to
imagination, trying to take
bodies.

Above the street, i flex
and the boards flex, and i count
to 100. not good enough.

the bicycle frame is good enough.
old and bent, yes, but usable.
it hurtles down the streets with no bike lane,
wind skipping beats, the earth curving
down.

i am a thing they cannot take.
you are a thing they cannot take.
we will pierce and pull and paint
ourselves because, though survival
is not war, this kind of love certainly is and
i want my body to stand against
when the time comes.
I have learned to hold--


I had a dream they came for you
in the night and in a struggle
down to the ground i bit their throat,
and then bit down still further. my face
was warm with it.

In the morning,
i am slow to come
to, i am still taking my leave,
taking my pieces
back, gathering my
pieces.

I have shored my fragments
against this desert wind. closing my eyes
during commercials. laying
down to speak quietly after the sun
begins to sleep. we are
in this together, created things--
a decision-- hand on forearm on
forearm. send them right over.

I am learning to love again in the white walls
with desert plants living on the air
that seems to be strangling the world.
They strike ancient designs in wire and shadow.

I am in the car stretching
a hand on your thigh, finding it
difficult to say.

Can we get a clear picture of where we've come from?
The camera, built on itself,
swiveling on a now muscular neck.
I am not the pipsqueak or the nerd any longer.
A face to meet the faces you will meet.
The mirror too.
There are things i have become,
(and we all have)
that i no longer see,
Pieces I have chosen
that i cannot recall.