trying

There is a wind

Bending through the riverbed,

Picking up smooth stones,

Turning the shadow-side over.

And once it was great waters

Holding their breath

And rushing down the mountains.

And before that it was cold rock,

Aching as it grew,

Growing as it poured over.

You are the deep of the deep,

The inside of everything.

On my back is there is nothing

That is not him. But inside everything

There you are. Water of water,

Light of light.

Before me, there you were

Hot and cold, sharp and still,

Pursing your lips as you fiddled with an earring.

Speaking shortly. Your skin humming

Mystical sun. your heart collider

Making universes within the insulated tubing of your system.

Before me, I have no illusions, curving your back,

Notches lining up to the horizon line,

Opening that mouth that prays

Opening those eyes that dive.

You could’ve broken every heart in the world.

You could’ve had them by the throat and against the ropes

And glowing like dull embers beneath a flood of dirt.

There is a softness inside my animal heart--

It’s fur is raised now, but it purrs.

I’ve seen the look you get before you change the world,

The set of your shoulders, your loosened brow

And tightened butt. I’ve heard the deep breath in

And the quiet putting away of everything you need to

Put away. You wanted to hold the moon and shape the world,

You wanted to flow with the river and wend your way across it.

And you did not want to pay the ferryman.

I see you doing it, with eyes closed.

Tonight, you are mine,

Gravity-less, held,

Yielding the field to rain.

I am reaping the bounty of your rich soil tonight

Tasting the dark salt. We are living because

Of what you have killed to live.

We are laughing because of your crop

watered with tears. And we are futureless,

unbounded as the space beyond a horizon line.

We are angle-less like a child’s face.

We are swimming each other’s waters.

You make me come tonight,

Over the mountains to you.

I bear two stones that weigh a lifetime.

I race my fingers across your shoulders

“There is a home in my wandering—“

I am pulling you apart. You are pulling me apart

“It is you now. ”

Something between us is rocking with the pace of the earth.

and “it is you now.”